I, too, bite and chew my shoes apart on the subway. Or not.

Seconds before, I was just thinking about how it has been a while since I've seen anything really weird on the subway. And lo! A vision appeared before me: a man began to slowly and meticulously bite, chew and rip a brand new pair of sneakers apart, right in front of me. He made a lanyard out of the laces so he could put his wallet around his neck. He ripped the tongue from the shoes. He tore them apart with his bare hands. His bag was labeled "K Mart."

I assume he understood why he was doing what he was doing.

I made eye contact with the woman across from me and we had to look away to avoid cracking up. This was much more entertaining than the unopened can of Brisk lemonade that was rolling around the floor on my subway ride into the city earlier in the day.