The Sarah Palin Abstinence Pledge

I'm still on hiatus, but in light of the nomination of the new Republican VP, Sarah Palin, I wanted to find a way to merge my point of view with hers when it comes to sex education.

As a result, I have formulated a special lesbian oath. Feel free to repeat after me:

"In an effort to support abstinence-only, I hereby pledge to abstain from heterosexual sex."

Thank you, Sarah, for finally giving me the courage and a voice to express my desires in such a way that allows me to uphold my own value system while also honoring your point of view.

We both win!

Take the pledge. Join me now. Preferably in my bed.

On hiatus

In case it isn't blindingly obvious by my lack of posts, I'm officially going on hiatus. Preparing for my upcoming move is taking up most of my time, so I need to focus on that. I'm hoping to be back to posting by October. Unless something insane happens, in which case I will post. But until then, thanks for stopping by and I promise to be back once the literal and metaphoric dust has settled.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

As I walked out of my apartment this morning to head for work, I saw an Access van across the street. A little flash caught my eye, and lo and behold! Tiny flames were licking up the windshield.

I gave myself another second to make sure my brain wasn't deceiving me, and I confirmed, to myself, that the VAN WAS ON FIRE! I looked around to see if anyone was in or near the van, and it seemed abandoned. People were passing by on the street, looking at the fire as it began to build, and walked on by, either to the subway or down the street as the hood burst into flame. I couldn't believe it.

NO ONE WAS PAYING ANY MIND!

I whipped out my phone and dialed 9-1-1. I was petrified that the thing was going to blow up, and as the conflagration grew, the windows popped and shattered. Then the horn went off--the death cries of an immolating vehicle.

I ran back inside. I was asking myself whether it was smarter to be inside or outside, but I decided I'd rather be indoors if the thing blew up, presumably allowing my building to take the major blow. I didn't want to leave until I was sure the fire department arrived. From the photos I took, a friend later pointed out it looked a lot like Grand Theft Auto.


They came in about 2 minutes, but the fire continued to blaze--it was so hot I could feel the heat through my living room window. Once the fireman hosed it down, I went back outside to tell them thank you. They asked me if I knew where the driver was. I didn't, but the guy next to me said he saw the driver cross the street. Good lord.

Just another day in Brooklyn. And unfortunately, the third major conflagration I've witnessed in the past 5 years on this corner. Shudder.

Working out at home

I've been going to a Pilates mat class one night a week and spending the rest of my time exercising at home. Mat classes are usually around $17/ea., at least in New York, so that's $68/mo., which is nearly the cost of a gym membership. To save money, I've purchased several DVDs to help guide my workouts at home once I've learned the basics in class. I've found two that are outstanding.

If you're looking for weight training, I've been really pleased with Kathy Smith's Lift Weights to Lose Weight 2. (I haven't tried volume 1 yet.)

Vol. 2 features two 20-minute workouts for the upper and lower body. I've enjoyed doing one 20-min workout each morning before work. It's just enough time to see a difference in your body, but not so much time that you can't fit it in before you head out the door.

If you'd like a 45 minute Pilates routine for home, I can't say enough about Karen Voight's "Pilates Core Power: Abdominals & Back." She does some slight variations from traditional pilates moves, but everything is well-paced, and she makes sure to counter-balance all exercises with their opposites so all muscle groups are attended to.

I've done this workout at least 20 times by now, and Karen Voight never gets on my nerves, unlike Kathy Smith, who is occasionally grating with comments like, "Sue back there is looking at the camera. She's trying to steal my thunder."

I didn't know that Karen offered this DVD in combination with another, so you might want to check out Total Body Pilates instead. It features the same routine, plus an additional 45-min lower body routine. However, that routine requires that you have a magic circle.

I would stay far, far away from Jennifer Kries' Pilates Method: Perfect Mix. This video is far from perfect--the production values are dismal, and it's more like aerobics than pilates. Also, she provides no instruction whatsoever--you pop in the DVD, and off they go, hitting the mats like crazy people with no narration or instruction so you have no idea what's going on on how to keep up. Yuck.

I am looking into purchasing other Kathy Smith and Karen Voight DVDs and will post reviews. I've grown to love working out at home, and it's definitely worth the savings.

The end of the story

You may recall the Open Container Violation I was party to.

This week, two of us in our group got this letter in our mail from the NYC Criminal Court:

As of the above referenced date, the NYPD has failed to file a legally acceptable accusatory instrument with this court. There is no need for you to return to court on the summons number referenced above.

Our $25 checks to pay the fine were never cashed. I believe we are off the hook! No petty offenses on our records after all. Here's to the cumbersome red tape of bureaucracy ensuring our victory. We are exonerated!

And, if anyone out there is still trying to read this blog, I've just been too busy and not terribly inspired to write. It will pick back up again soon, I hope. Altho, my presumed impending move may keep me away from the keyboard. I'll keep you posted....

Co-op board application

In case anyone is wondering what eight copies of a co-op board application looks like, here it is.

Contents:

• Application forms (which include the SELLER'S social security number. Why would I have this?)
  
• Contract of sale
  
• Mortgage agreement
  
• Three statements from every financial account a person has
  
• Last three pay stubs
  
• Last two years tax returns
  
• Six letters of recommendation
  
• Various signed agreements (house rules, window guards, etc.)
  
• Checks for move-in fees and credit report: $750
  

Cost: $75.00 for the copies, $50.00 to ship it.

It's worse than a college application.

WHY, OH WHY, HER???

Of all of the amazing and gorgeous and talented entertainers out there that I've had crushes on for years, why does Lindsay Lohan turn out to be the one who goes gay? I, for one, don't want this vacuous train wreck playing for my team, for a short while or forever.

That said, there's a great article on Lindsay's outing in the LA Times: "Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson: Read all about it." There has traditionally been a reluctance to out people in the media, but it seems those days are over. Life & Style magazine has plastered Lindsay all over their cover. I saw her today staring at me at from the counter at Rite Aid.

I personally think this might be a step in the right direction. I'm not generally in favor of outing people even though I think it's absurd, cowardly and downright wrong to be closeted, but celebrities already live a public life. And Lindsay has been hanging out in public with her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson.

I can't say I'm sad or sorry to see more queer visibility without the permission of the lesbian in question. And despite that I'd rather it wasn't Lindsay, there's something great about the tabloid magazine coverage of lesbian relationships. If celebrities are "Just Like Us," then gay relationships are just as normal in Los Angeles as they in Kansas. Who says social change can't be spurred by rag mags?