Co-op board application

In case anyone is wondering what eight copies of a co-op board application looks like, here it is.

Contents:

• Application forms (which include the SELLER'S social security number. Why would I have this?)
  
• Contract of sale
  
• Mortgage agreement
  
• Three statements from every financial account a person has
  
• Last three pay stubs
  
• Last two years tax returns
  
• Six letters of recommendation
  
• Various signed agreements (house rules, window guards, etc.)
  
• Checks for move-in fees and credit report: $750
  

Cost: $75.00 for the copies, $50.00 to ship it.

It's worse than a college application.

WHY, OH WHY, HER???

Of all of the amazing and gorgeous and talented entertainers out there that I've had crushes on for years, why does Lindsay Lohan turn out to be the one who goes gay? I, for one, don't want this vacuous train wreck playing for my team, for a short while or forever.

That said, there's a great article on Lindsay's outing in the LA Times: "Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson: Read all about it." There has traditionally been a reluctance to out people in the media, but it seems those days are over. Life & Style magazine has plastered Lindsay all over their cover. I saw her today staring at me at from the counter at Rite Aid.

I personally think this might be a step in the right direction. I'm not generally in favor of outing people even though I think it's absurd, cowardly and downright wrong to be closeted, but celebrities already live a public life. And Lindsay has been hanging out in public with her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson.

I can't say I'm sad or sorry to see more queer visibility without the permission of the lesbian in question. And despite that I'd rather it wasn't Lindsay, there's something great about the tabloid magazine coverage of lesbian relationships. If celebrities are "Just Like Us," then gay relationships are just as normal in Los Angeles as they in Kansas. Who says social change can't be spurred by rag mags?

I, too, bite and chew my shoes apart on the subway. Or not.

Seconds before, I was just thinking about how it has been a while since I've seen anything really weird on the subway. And lo! A vision appeared before me: a man began to slowly and meticulously bite, chew and rip a brand new pair of sneakers apart, right in front of me. He made a lanyard out of the laces so he could put his wallet around his neck. He ripped the tongue from the shoes. He tore them apart with his bare hands. His bag was labeled "K Mart."

I assume he understood why he was doing what he was doing.

I made eye contact with the woman across from me and we had to look away to avoid cracking up. This was much more entertaining than the unopened can of Brisk lemonade that was rolling around the floor on my subway ride into the city earlier in the day.

Clothes on sale online but not in the store? Ask for the discount!

Guess what!? I discovered that Bloomingdale's WILL honor their online sale prices if you find the same merchandise in the store at full price. All you need is proof from the web site (make those printouts!) and your receipt.

I bought this James Perse Short Sleeve Henly Polo last week at full price ($85). I liked the shirt, but it didn't seem worth $85, so I was considering returning it. I decided to poke around online to see if I could find it elsewhere cheaper, and found it on Bloomingdale's site itself, marked down 20% to $63.75. That sounded much more reasonable to me. I grabbed my receipt and hit the store, where it was NOT on sale.

The first saleswoman I spoke to had to call the manager to ask whether they would honor the sale price. Then, she insisted that I needed to have the shirt with me to get the markdown. That made no sense to me since all of the information should be in the database upon lookup from the barcode on the receipt. Thankfully, another saleswoman confirmed that I was correct, and the receipt was all I needed. No need to schlepp around merchandise. I was credited back $21.25.

While I was there, I saw that the Diane von Furstenberg shirt I also bought last week is now 40% off (although not listed online). I'm about to head back to the store now to reclaim $75. Absolutely worth the hour it will take me to run the errand. And in total, I will have saved $100 just by doing a little research and legwork.

This economy sucks. There are markdowns and sales everywhere. Keep an eye out online and in the stores. Save big!

Sign of the times

Even good girls get it sometimes

Six good girls and two good boys, that is. What did we get? Tickets with court summons for having an "open container" (read: one bottle of wine) at a birthday party/picnic in Prospect Park last Sunday.

But that's not really the most interesting part of the story. What is amazing is how two message board posts about our incident managed to make it all the way to Gothamist. It was an amazing illustration in how the blogosphere works.

One of the members of our party wrote an in-depth summary of the occurrence and posted on The Brooklynian.com. It's such a popular post that it has had over 3,144 views, and 70 responses, now one week later.

A friend of mine posted to the Park Slope Parents message board about the same issue, asking on our behalf if this has been occurring more frequently in the park, and whether it's worth going to fight the ticket.

Park Slope Parents is a members-only message board with 5000+ readers. One of the members took my friend's post and posted it to other blogs, without seeking permission, so it wound up on Gowanus Lounge.

And then turned up on Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn. (You'll have to scroll down to the post "Group Summoned for Open Bottle of Wine in Prospect Park" to find it.)

Who knows which one came first? (Altho it appears that SmartMom on "Only the Blog..." was the first to leak the story from PSP.)

AND THEN Gowanus Lounge found the post on Brooklynian.com and pieced two-and-two together.

Finally, our story wound up on the Angry New Yorker.

Apparently, all four outlets of information are sufficiently read by enough of the blogging New York cognescenti that we made it to the Holy Grail of local blogs: Gothamist, with their article: "Should Public Drinking be Allowed?" (Altho, had we scored in Gawker as well, it would have been even more triumphant, but alas, no one gets it all).

What I find most noteworthy is that our story is truly not all that engaging. A group of us unwittingly broke the rules (no excuse, I know!), were approached by four cops, one of whom was mildly confrontational, and left us disappointed that we were singled out when clearly there were others around us more flagrantly flouting the law. It sucked, but it is what it is. It was shocking to find that SO MANY people seemed to have commentary on this topic, and that it shot to the top of the charts (if you will).

It proved a few things: that many people can be quite mean and presumptuous under the guise of anonymous blog posts; conversely, many people can be quite humane and came to our defense. But more than anything, it proved that so many bloggers really don't have much to say and, in fact, have so little to say that they simply rip off content from local message boards rather than contributing new thoughts or ideas or original topics of discussion into general circulation. We need more blogs with original content! Ideas matter!

All that said, it has been quite fun to watch the wave unexpectedly rise and catch so many people in the current. It was definitely worth the 25 bucks and the now permanent "petty offense" on my record to see how news travels through the community, and just how it makes its way to the top of the heap.

S&P 500 not a great place for short-term investments

And by short term investments, I mean 10 years or less.

Take it from me: I've learned a lesson the hard way. I've been investing monthly in the Vanguard S&P 500 Index fund (VFINX) for nine years, as a means to save up for a down payment on a home.

And now that the time has arrived for me to withdraw my funds, the market is in a horrible state. The S&P blew through the key support point of 1350 and finished out the week at 1317. It's dropping like a stone. Thankfully, I withdrew my funds on Tuesday before it fell below 1350, but I'm very disappointed that my assiduous saving hasn't had much payoff. (A good tip: apparently, you should never sell stocks on a Monday since statistics show that's the worst day of the week to sell).

As it turns out, VFINX has only managed a meager 3.5% return for the past 10 years. I suppose I should be grateful that it didn't have a negative return, but talk about a lousy place to stash cash for a major purchase. I could have done as well with a savings account at Emigrant Direct (which is a really good idea, btw, and they tend to have some of the highest rates going. Also check out ING).

I remember meeting with a financial planner in 1999, and he asked me to think about my long-term life goals. My most immediate goal, for the next 10 years, was to own a home. He suggested, since I was a new investor, that I go with regular monthly contributions to an index fund, such as the S&P 500. And so I did, now much to my disappointment. Of course, any savings at all is better than none, but there have to be better ways to weather the horrible economy that we've had for the past 10 years. Sadly, I don't know of anything that's much of a safe or reliable bet other than Treasury Bills and Internet savings accounts.

I'm still clinging to the belief that index funds are a good way to go over the long term, so if you have an S&P fund in your 401k portfolio, I'd say leave it there and ride out this economic downturn (which from what I'm reading and from a symposium I went to, will most likely be a U-shaped recovery that will take at least two more years).

In the meantime, what can you do? I highly recommend the simple exercise of thinking about your future and planning for possible expenses now. Do you want to own a home? Get married? Have a large wedding? Elope? Have children? Adopt children? Remain childless? Travel? What does your retirement life look like to you? Will you own a home in Florida? Will you rent? What is your life going to look like when you're 65? 70? 80+?

Even if you're single, you can still imagine the expenses attached to the life you want to lead, and start to save accordingly. We can't predict how our lives will turn out, but no matter what happens, wouldn't it be nice to have a little stash of cash saved up for that moment when we get to wherever it is we're going?

But for the short term, stay away from the S&P.